FUN!

Monday, March 5, 2001

Well, here it is... the joint project that fellow FUN! members Alex, Jeff, and Swifty (and non-FUN!-member Mike Gavin) and I have founded... I present to you:

Maim.

It's like FUN!, just with AOLim transcripts for posts. And it's worse. But it's pretty, so love it with money.

Finally, it has come to my attention that Mr. Todd Johnson is a fan of Sam Shepard and Christopher Durang. Awesome.

*high-five*

|Brought to you with love by Neil - Love me with money, too |

Sunday, March 4, 2001

Oh yeah! One last thing:
Why the heck is my picture on Team FUN!'s members page so darn crappy? It needs to be remedied with much reckless abandon and aplomb.
It needs to be remedied ~~with Paintbrush.~~

Or, with a random shot from my webcam.

|Brought to you with love by Nick - Keeps forgetting stuff |

Sunday, March 4, 2001

Who's this Helena person, and why haven't I been formally introduced to her yet?
Why are people so adamant about trading their Team FUN! trading cards when someone should obviously just put up a mirror of all of them and have everyone email it to them? Even though it would ruin all the fun, and everyone would pout and call that person a "party pooper" or something to that effect, it would still get them all out into the open. Maybe I've just been an FTP admin for way, way too long for my own good or something.
Why has the \`4|23% not been |*h|233dz0r00l0rd3z3d yet? WHY?
Why am I still asking stupid questions like this?

Where are my false teeth?

|Brought to you with love by Nick - Posted his FUN! Trading Card on his site because he's lame like that |

Sunday, March 4, 2001

PayDays: delicious.

Like the amusingly intelligent elephants always stealing them on TV, I can't get enough of this delicous combination of roasted peanuts, caramel, and chocolate.

What really sets this Hershey's candy bar apart is it's unrestrained nuttiness. This candy bar is perfect for those crazy days, when you can't get enough to eat.

Plus, if you are an elephant hunter, there is nothing more important to your success as to bring plenty of PayDays along. Not that more elephants will come to you; everybody knows that elephants elephants don't give a crap about peanut candy bars. But it will be handy to have something to eat, because you're going to have a long wait, seeing as the elephants have been hunted to near extinction.

|Brought to you with love by floyd - The day designated for payment is upon us! |

Sunday, March 4, 2001

Well, the FUN! trading cards have been distributed - it's up to you cats to trade amongst yourselves. However, I could not find the email address of either Ariana or Jeff, so I just traded those with other people. You'll have to ask other people for them; I'm going to see a band tomorrow that starts with W and ends with Eezer, and if you think I'm hanging around to mail you your PERSONALIZED TRADING CARDS a day late, a fate that could've been avoided by LETTING PEOPLE NOW HOW TO GET IN TOUCH WITH YOU, then you're nuttier than a PayDay.

|Brought to you with love by swifty: gave my ice cream to a shark |

Saturday, March 3, 2001

Jeff-- my name is pronouced strangely. It's more like "Hell-AY-na", with most of the emphasis on the middle of my name rather than on the beginning like Helena, the city. It take a while to get used to it.

My parents are so amazingly cool. They bought me a $250 camera today, with 150mm zoom and timed exposure... this is because we have (had, rather) no working camera in the house because my old one broke about the same time my mom's did. I needed a camera for my trip to Canada later this month so we went to Wal-Mart and bought a very nice camera.
I've dubbed it Magdelina.

|Brought to you with love by Helena - junkmail=evil. |

Saturday, March 3, 2001

Todd, that's awesome -- I didn't know you were into theatre. My father's been a theatre professor for the last 30 years, and so I've learned a lot about writing and directing and acting from him. I'm currently working on writing a play of my own, but I'm not sure how good it'll be because of my massive lack of experience.

Is there any place where I can check out what else you've done?

I have a project that 3 other members of FUN! (Alex, Jeff, and Swifty) and one Mike Gavin are founding. It should be cool. If all goes well, it'll launch on Sunday night. It has nothing to do with theatre.

That's all I've got... Also, many many welcomes to Helena. You have good taste in music.

|Brought to you with love by Neil - Likes Eric Bogosian |

Saturday, March 3, 2001

So my play opened tonight, and it went very well.

The play is a takeoff on Hamlet, as seen from the Gravedigger's POV. We constructed a 'grave' on the floor level of the theater, that you have to walk down into from the stage, off to the left. You can also crawl into or out of the grave from the dressing room. You kinda have to see it to understand. I'll have pics on my site next week.

Anyway, the show's about to start, and the actors playing the Ghost and the Gravedigger crawl into the grave to get ready to go on. They both have to lie on their stomachs. The pre-show music stops, the Ghost does his 'off-stage' lines, and the Gravedigger (a gent named Simon) starts the show proper. The gent playing the Ghost (a great guy named Bob in his late 50's/early 60's) crawls into the dressing room, barely containing a spasm of laughter. The rest of the cast crowds around and quietly asks what's up.

"Simon just farted right in my face", comes the reply.

And the rest of the cast, up till intermission, has a very hard time looking said Simon in the face on stage, for fear he'll let another one rip.

Just goes to show that even in the highbrow world of the theatre, flatulence is still very, very funny.

|Brought to you with love by Todd - Also enjoys the words 'poop' and 'boobies' |

Thursday, March 1, 2001

So the other day in sociology class, I'm really bored. really genuinely bored. and what did I do? No, I know what you're thinking, but Adam and I were prostitutes a few days ago. That got old. No, what did I do this time?

I made Team Fun! superhero pictures.

I'll scan these in when I get home - I'm updating from a school computer labeled "THE LIBRARY COMPUTERS ARE PROVIDED FOR RESEARCH AND EDUCATIONAL PURPOSES", under which it states "NO E-MAIL, GAMES, OR DOWNLOADING" with helpful pictures of the aforementioned words being crossed out, Ghostbusters-logo-style.

Luckily, I am doing none of those things. I am rocking the internet with glorious content. And wearing a hat.

|Brought to you with love by swifty: eleven hundred miles is a long drive in A BANANA WITH WHEELS*%#(@) |

Thursday, March 1, 2001

Another essay from a sucessful application:

Entry: October 27, 1912

I had that dream again last night, the third time this week. I was being chased down a long corridor, but never seemed to get any closer to the end. The strangest part is that I am being stalked by a large feline, but I never catch a glimpse of it. So far I realize that the monsterous cat represents my repressed sexual urges, but why no end?

Sigmund Freud

|Brought to you with love by Judah - Do not visit my website. There is nothing to see there. |

Wednesday, February 28, 2001

Today is the national web holiday [which I recently instituted] on which you visit your favorite bands web page, learn a little about them, and most importantly email them and tell them just how much they kick ass.

Here are some suggestions:
pixies: http://www.4ad.com/artists/catalogue/pixies/index.htm
modest mouse: www.modestmousemusic.com
boards of canada: www.boardsofcanada.com
amon tobin: www.amontobin.com

Oh yes, and allow me to extend the metaphorical green banana of friendship to the two new members neil, and and helena. Not capitalizing your name is a sign of respect by the way. Ask Meg.

|Brought to you with love by Floyd - the natives are restless |

Wednesday, February 28, 2001

Hi Helena. What syllable is emphasized in that name? The first, like the city? Anyway, enough chit-chat. Today is truly a date to go down in history. Could everyone please have a moment of silence as.......

Bernard Shaw's last day at CNN is today.

Thank you, and good luck finding a new reason to continue living.

|Brought to you with love by Jeff - Finds solice in Wolf Blitzer |

Wednesday, February 28, 2001

Whoa... that's really spiffy, Meg. And thanks for the tips etc.

Say hello to Herb. My hedgehog.

HE'S CUTE! HE'S CUDDLY! HE LIVES ON MY BACKPACK YET FITS IN MY POCKET! HERB: HELENA'S HETEROSEXUAL HEDGEHOG OF HAPPINESS. *waves lighter*

And I heard that it's Alex's birthday (or was.. I'm probably late or something) so happy birthday!

Keep America clean; eat a pigeon.

|Brought to you with love by Helena - msdjfvdjvhpenisldskfjgbjk |

Wednesday, February 28, 2001

helena:
i have a lot of experience with removing odd substances from my epidermis. try pumice soap or fast orange, and it's not really about what you use.. it's how you use it.

|Brought to you with love by meg - must |

Tuesday, February 27, 2001

Judah Nielsen: That, of course, made me want to cry.
Ahdumn: haha! you big dumb bitch!

Of course, I'd never say this to his face.

Wait, yes I would. Then I would immediately brace myself for a beating the likes of which I could never even fathom.

All for the sake of calling Judah a "big dumb bitch".

Oh, and, Hi, Helena...

|Brought to you with love by Adam - masochist extraordinaire |

Tuesday, February 27, 2001

Greetings everyone at Team FUN!
That includes me, now, as well.
My hand is pink. I drew some designs on it with a pink pen (it bled into my skin, the fucker) and now it won't come off. Any suggestions that don't require me sand-papering my skin off?

|Brought to you with love by Helena - Snootchie bootchie nootchies! |

Tuesday, February 27, 2001

A big happy hey to Helena!

Other FUN! things to point out: Ariana's site has rejoined the land of the living. Huzzah and kudos I say!

I would also like to say that more people need to discover the joyful noises made by Love Jones. And The Beta Band. And that I am in a state of insane anticipation over the fact that Radiohead will be playing in San Francisco this summer.

Oh, and my play opens Friday. Eep.

|Brought to you with love by Todd - A rogue and peasant slave |

Tuesday, February 27, 2001

Ladies and gentlemen, I am pleased to announce that Team FUN! has accepted yet another writer... Helena. I don't think I caught her last name. Bad form, eh?

Welcome aboard, kid.

|Brought to you with love by Judah - Adminsitrator2K |

Monday, February 26, 2001

a little tribute to my minivan, a 1989 dodge caravan se that died on the way home from my girlfriend's house last saturday. maestro?

the never engine: (gets on one knee)
the never engine: (gets acoustic guitar)
Ahdumn: (salutes)
the never engine: ohhh van
the never engine: (holds back tears)
Ahdumn: (pats swifty on the back)
Ahdumn: it will be ok.
Ahdumn: it will be ok.
the never engine: my van, my friend, my only steed
there for me in times of need
you brought me round with love, indeed, oh van
Ahdumn: (sobs openly)
the never engine: i can't believe your engine cracked
as cars go, you were pretty jacked
i think i left some condoms in the back
oh, van
the never engine: your punk rock stickers, your stripped
gas cap my friends called you a rust death-trap
and "fucking useless piece of crap"
poor van
Ahdumn: (punches self in face)
Ahdumn: this is so terrible!!!!!!!!!
Ahdumn: WHY?!?!?!?!?
the never engine: the station wagon's all i've got
now that your 12 year-old motor's shot
i won't forget you, no, i'll not
my van
the never engine: (finishes song, cries until it hurts, sets guitar on fire in rememberance) Ahdumn: (kicks flaming guitar)

|Brought to you with love by swifty: i hate our station wagon |

Monday, February 26, 2001

I, Jeff DeWitt (a.k.a Deff Jewitt, a.k.a. Def Jew, a.k.a. Jeffy McSmellbad), have successfully completed one sixth of a Rubik's cube! I know what you are thinking, but it was actually the maroon side. Now I think I will quit whilst I am ahead.

|Brought to you with love by Jeff - Idiot savant? |

Sunday, February 25, 2001

Tickets to phat concerts nickd happens to be in possession of:

Weezer at the Aragon Ballroom. March 9.
A Perfect Circle at the Aragon Ballroom. March 23.
BS 2000 at the Metro. April 5.
LTJ Bukem and MC Conrad at the Metro. April 21.
U2 at the United Center. My ass. I hate bands that charge $150 a head for a concert that probably costs three cents to put on.

That is all.

Wait, no, that's not all. I want to announce the following:
I'm a little teapot, short and stout. Here is my handle, here is my spout.
Now that is all.

|Brought to you with love by Nick - Lost your head, now you sleep on the floor |

Sunday, February 25, 2001

I forgot to mention it earlier, but I found out that the sequel to "American Pie" will be filmed in Stuart and my quaint little 18,000 person town here on the lake. Keep your eye open for us with a megaphone in the background, or a giant Team FUN! banner constantly being waved.

|Brought to you with love by Jeff - Loves shameless self-promotion |

Sunday, February 25, 2001

Here's another essay from an accepted application... I think you'll enjoy this one especially.

DeadVoice: Yoyoyo! B.I.G in the houuuse, representin EAST SIDE! *cough cough*. I gotta tell you about this trip I had yesterday, dawg. It was clean! I was out riding on my yacht er some crap like that.. all rappin along with the music.. when this record label guy just appeared outta nowhere and offered me some shit, yo. I was like BIG UP TO THE BIGGIE!

Just can't beat it with a stick.

|Brought to you with love by Judah - Selective FUN! Historian |

Sunday, February 25, 2001

I woke up in a Guatemalan whorehouse again this morning. Adam and Swifty were selling themselves. That is all.

|Brought to you with love by Jeff - ATTN: Accounts Payable |

Sunday, February 25, 2001

CSAP testing this week. These are the tests given by the Colorado state government to find out how well students in high school are doing academically. And then punish the poorly-performing schools by taking away funding. Excellent idea! Let's take money away from struggling schools and give it to the ones that aren't as sorely in need! And THEN, let's punish people with cancer for having a disease by giving medicine and chemotherapy to the cancer-free! That'll teach those lazy becancered bastards to stay healthy! Score one for justice! (pumps fist in victory)

Oh, America. How I love thee.

What's this bitter green liquid dripping off of me? It looks like sarcasm!

Hey, it is!

....ew.

I'm going to go take a shower.

|Brought to you with love by Alex - e. none |

Sunday, February 25, 2001

I just called.... to say...... I love you.

|Brought to you with love by Leah- dance, too much booty in the pants. |

Sunday, February 25, 2001

Welcome, Neil. Word on the True Romance thing, the only movie on your list that I have seen. I've heard of all the others, though. Does that count? For what, you ask? Well, I don't know.

I saw a blue butterfly today. It was nice. Usually all you see are those boring orange ones. Not that there's anything wrong with orange butterflies, but c'mon, enough already.

I thought I'd post to break the Floyd/Neil cycle. Not to say I'm not enjoying it immensely :). Boys, back to you..

|Brought to you with love by Ariana - Majoring in interruptions |

Sunday, February 25, 2001

Floyd, are you aware that the last 5 out of 6 posts are by either you or me? That's sickening. I think the other FUN! members need to get off their asses and post something. I also think that I need to e-mail Floyd sometime so that I can become good friends with him.

neilcoons: judah, should i post less?
neilcoons: i'm thinking it would MAKE ME FIT IN MORE
judah nielsen: we recruit new members so we have to post less

Anyways, I know how you're all STARVING FOR CONTENT, so since the other members have FAILED TO SATISFY YOU, I'll post YET AGAIN today.

Fellow Team FUN! member Todd and I have been working on a project for a while now. Check it out.

Order Jesus:
Store #1
Store #2

Go order Jesus, everyone. He'll love you forever if you do. And then maybe some of these lazy sons of bitches will start to post again. Pffft. Disgusting.

|Brought to you with love by Neil - Knows how to satisfy you |

Saturday, February 24, 2001

Attention all. I would I like you to meet someone.

"Weaselscoot"

Hi, Weaselscoot!

|Brought to you with love by floyd - I'm serious about you, Weaselscoot |

Saturday, February 24, 2001

Recently, I've noticed that many people are making the switch to Altoids. I like Altoids, too -- don't get me wrong, they're great. But while most people are enjoying their Altoids, I still usually prefer good old-fashioned Tic-Tacs. In an effort to help Tic-Tacs regain their once-mighty position as the king of the breath mints, I thought I'd re-introduce you all to your good old friends.

Say hello to Fresh Mint Tic-Tacs. Remember them? They start off with a delicious and refreshing burst of vanilla flavor before they become wonderfully minty.
Shake hands with Wintergreen Tic-Tacs. They used to be my favorite, and they still are today. The pleasantness of wintergreen in a small, 1.5 calorie mint.
Remember me, the Spearmint Tic-Tac? I know you do. Everyone loves spearmint gum -- why not love Spearmint Tic-Tacs? The delightful green color of the mint makes it sooth the tongue and the eyes.
Not in the mood for a mint? Cinnamon Tic-Tacs are for you. Delightfully red, they're a wonderful replacement for those Cinnamon Altoids that you all seem to love so much.
Nothing beats an Orange Tic-Tac. Sweet, tangy, bright, and just right for casual snacking. How can you go wrong with such an exquisite and wonderful treat?

With 40 Tic-Tacs per cute little box, you get a whopping 60 calories out of each. Just make sure that you have room enough for dinner, because once you start eating Tic-Tacs again, you might not want to stop.

|Brought to you with love by Neil - Likes the Wintergreen |

Friday, February 23, 2001

This week, my very friendly friend Aaron gave me a generous present. 100 Grand.

No, no. If you're thinking 100 thousand dollars, you're an idiot! I'm speaking of course of the Nestle candy bar. This was the subject for this edition of my chocolate column.

Nestle 100 Grand

This chocolate treat comes in two parts in the package, a surprisingly useful and rare feature. Very convenient for sharing, or protesting that the candy bar is much too small to share, while cleverly hiding the other half behind your back.

The candy bar itself is delicious. Tasty "crunchies" provide great texture, and the meaty caramel center is perfect for those really satisfying bites. Actually, the caramel center is a little too substantial, making the bar very hard to chew. My only recommendation might be a cookie center or something similar to add a little interest to the overall candy bar experience. At least have a glass of milk handy, to wash down in the event of overzealous chomping.

However, I found the 100 Grand to have a very satisfying crunch, and provide for a very substantial snack.

But don't take my word for it! Try one yourself

|Brought to you with love by Floyd - feeling insubstantial tonight |

Friday, February 23, 2001

I feel an intense obligation to write on this topic; given the course of human events over the past sixteen days, one feels a wide range of emptions, from happiness to sadness to general despair and frustration.

Barring any further problems with my health, I have a date tomorrow night.
NYAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA.

With this, I bid you adieu.
Hassan chop! (jumps out window)

|Brought to you with love by Nick - Feels like it's just begun |

Friday, February 23, 2001

Hey there, everyone... Allow me to introduce myself. Um, I'm Neil. My friends call me "the love machine" when i pay them to. You can just call me "Neil".

...just don't call me late for dinner! HA!

If you'd like to check out my highly-praised hazing assignment, it can be found here. It's a short story with a musical finale and a cameo by FUN!'s very own Nick Disabato.

Anyways, I feel that I should post something, so here goes. Floyd's the chocolate guy, Judah's the Pop-Tarts guy, and I've worked in a movie store for most of my high-school life, so I'll be the movie guy.

Top 10 movies that everyone needs to watch but no one has:

10. City of Industry
Harvey Keitel, Stephen Dorff, Timothy Hutton, Lucy Liu. A damned great movie about a jewel heist that goes horribly wrong. Lots of twists and turns.

9. Swingers
Vince Vaughn, Jon Favreau, Ron Livingston. The story of a group of guys trying to get some in Los Angeles. Cameo by Big Bad Voodoo Daddy.

8. Playing God
David Duchovny, Timothy Hutton, Angelina Jolie. Alex tells me it got bad reviews, but I can't imagine why. This is a damn fine piece of cinema.

7. The Limey
Peter Fonda. Independant film about a (Scottish?) gangster who travels to America in order to avenge the death of his daughter. Tough old guy = cool movie.

6. True Romance
Christian Slater, Patricia Arquette. Written, but not directed by, Quentin Tarentino. One of the coolest movies that never got popular.

5. Pi
An independant film directed by Darren Aronofsky (who is also responsible for Requiem for a Dream). Brilliant piece of work, in black-and-white.

4. SLC Punk
Matthew Lilliard. The story of a group of punks living in Salt Lake City. Hilarious at times, sad at others, a really great movie that everyone should see.

3. Run, Lola, Run
Lola has 20 minutes to save her boyfriend's life. The story plays through 3 times with different endings based on small events that change her path.

2. La Femme Nikita
One of the greatest spy movies of all time. There was a horrible american remake called "No Point of Return" and an even more horrible TV show.

1. Suburbia
Giovanni Ribisi, Nicky Katt, Steve Zahn, Parker Posey. A day in the lives of a group of kids who hang out by the 7-11. Adapted from the play by Eric Bogosian. Very, very deserving of #1.

Okay, that's all I've got. More, better updates in the future. I promise. I love you all, and I want to bear your children. Have a wonderful day.

|Brought to you with love by Neil - likes to move it, move it |

Thursday, February 22, 2001

Ladies and gentlemen, boys and girls, let me present to you the newest member of Team FUN!, no114's own NEIL!

|Brought to you with love by Judah - Master of Disaster |

Thursday, February 22, 2001

Haha. You think that's gross! Well, I put mayonaise on my french fries! Yeah! Eat THAT!!

well.. i used to anyway...

|Brought to you with love by Adam - eats lots of fat. |

Thursday, February 22, 2001

I'm sorry Dr. Judah, but this used to be a place on the in-ter-net that I could come to and be amused and refreshed, not horribly, horribly disgusted. I mean, where do you find such nauseating concoctions? I am sure the devil (or Tom Walker) puts them in your head at night by hiding them in what you think is just harmless crack cocaine.

|Brought to you with love by Jeff - Should I be posting more? |

Wednesday, February 21, 2001

I have been mocked, recently, for my masterful creation: the peanut butter pop tart hoagie. I have been assailed for eschewing frosted pop tarts, and I'm sure I will be in leagal trouble for failing to write pop tart "Pop Tarts™©®". Nonetheless, I will share with you the recipe for Peanut Butter Toaster Bagel Finger Sandwiches.

Peanut Butter Toaster Bagel Finger Sandwiches

Ingredients:

Roasted Honey Nut Skippy Peanut Butter (creamy)

Pillsbury Toaster Bagel Shoppe (cream cheese)

Directions:

Toast Pillsbury Toaster Bagel Shop bagels until heated throughout.
Allow bagels to cool just below peanut butter melting point (this is a matter of some delicacy, you don't want a lava flow of melted peanut butter on your hands)
Apply peanut butter to one bagel (to taste)
Put other bagel on top, making a sandwich

Bon Apetit!

|Brought to you with love by Judah - Bear Extra-ordinaire |

Tuesday, February 20, 2001

{sound of wind blowing softy, as if through empty hall}

So...ah..how 'bout them [insert appropiate local professional sports team name here]?

{brief pause} {sound of wind continues unabated}

|Brought to you with love by Floyd - Not particularly interested in your home team |

Sunday, February 18, 2001

Judah Nielsen: I like to think of it as inculcation.
toddlikesmonkeys: inculhoozits?
Judah Nielsen: (learning by repetition)
toddlikesmonkeys: ah. i want to say 'i knew that' so i don't look dumb, but i don't think i did.
Judah Nielsen: well. you know now.
toddlikesmonkeys: and knowing is...ah, screw it, i just can't do it.
Judah Nielsen: SAY IT
toddlikesmonkeys: HALF THE BATTLE
toddlikesmonkeys: *dies*
Judah Nielsen: ha ha... loser.

|Brought to you with love by Todd - fighting for freedom over land and air |

Saturday, February 17, 2001

Eccentrix has gone insane and now my page won't load, and I can't even update my site, and I haven't updated since the 5th, which looks really bad. I want to contact the webmaster to say "hey beeeeeeotch, what the [expletive deleted] is wrong with your page providing ass", although I did that years ago when I first joined Geocities and actually thought a human being would reply my letter. But despite all this, I am in a really good mood today. I'm not sure why, probably because the weather is so beautiful. Kisses for you all! *Mwwwwwwaaaah*

Happy birthday to my friend, Roger! *Mwah*

|Brought to you with love by Ariana - cluck cluck drill drill |

Thursday, February 15, 2001

When will Guided By Voices stop rocking my world? I do so hope it is never.

Check out the new site, http://www.forcegravity.com

|Brought to you with love by Jeff - I once caught a fish thiiiiiiiis big |

Thursday, February 15, 2001

enter cafeteria - dinner.
perusing the salad bar, i fix up a lovely plate of ants on a log and meander to my spot in the far corner table of the room. heaving a heavy sigh, i drag another plastic chair to the formica table structure, and plunk down. before i realize what's happening, my pal liz takes fistful of my hair and exclaimed, "new conditioner! i can tell."
note to self: humans have excellent observational skills. scary.

ps: adam was kind enough to give me the space for a more recent portfolio site. so check it out. [have to love the shameless promotions, oh yeah.]

|Brought to you with love by meg - le gusta el arzo bispo. |

Thursday, February 15, 2001

A likely story. Let's consider a timeline, shall we?

10:00 PM (more or less) - I sign on for an evening of conversation and light humor.

11:08 - Recorded time of Todd's post, in which he claims that we're never online at the same time.

11:09 - I post to my weblog, evidence that I am, in fact, online.

4:28 - WHAT THE HELL HAPPENED HERE?

|Brought to you with love by Judah - Par Boiled Potato Detective |

Wednesday, February 14, 2001

So I've got me a fresh new color ink cartridge, and some spanking new T-shirt transfer sheets, and I'm wondering, what sort of image that one might be able to find online or create oneself with a minimum of Photoshoppery would make for a keen shirt that would communicate not only my contempt for the normal and jejeune, my easygoing nature and approachability and my extremely refined taste in pop culture references, but might also intimate some hint of my staggering intelligence, which is normally demonstrated by my ability to string together insanely long sentences?

Judah, so sorry I keep missing you online. No excuses, I just have a combination of bad timing and little free time.

You ever get the sudden impulse to say, or type, something incredibly random? No? Me either.

PUDDING ROCKS THE HIZOUSE!

|Brought to you with love by Todd - How long have you been on the choo-choo? |

Wednesday, February 14, 2001

Last night I was at a Bickford's in Auburn (a town about 30 minutes from here) with some people I haven't hung out with since I graduated high school - they came to my house and insisted that I leave with them - and discovered something very intriguing:

They were all in the middle of Final Fantasy Nine. All of them. Even this one kid's girlfriend who didn't say anything the entire night besides "You wish" (when one member of the party suggested something rather, cough cough, racy to her) and "That FMV with Atomos in it is awesome."

Later on that night somebody suggested the group hire a prostitute to flash them, as it would probablyonly cost five or ten dollars.

When I returned home, I chained myself to my computer desk.

|Brought to you with love by swifty - sugar sugar (doot doot do do doot doot) |

Tuesday, February 13, 2001

Well Mr. Disabato, you have posted twice regarding your unfortunate illness, and nobody [qualified] seems inclined to help you, or even respond. At all.

Fortunately, I have some experience helping the sick. I helped out Mr. DeWitt not to long ago...ok well I didnt really help him, but I've all you got so suck it up.

My recommendation, therefore, is as follows:

DO drink a lot of milk and and eat a lot of cheese. Lots of thick cream and fat helps your sinuses [to become hopelessly clogged]

DON'T take any aspirin, cold or flu medication, or time off from school or work. Do it the natural way [and die]

DO pay me my [horrendously inflated] fee

DON'T sue me for malpractice. I'm just trying to get by [through ripping you off]

Well there you have it. Also: items in brackets do not exist. They are simply the fantasies of your diseased brain.

|Brought to you with love by Dr Floyd - Now officially practicing [fraud] |

Tuesday, February 13, 2001

Bronchitis turns into laryngitis.
Nickd can't physically speak anymore, unless it involves his voice giving out in a fit of gasping breath.
Nickd has (rescheduled) date for Saturday.

Status: bleak.
Optimism: nonexistent.
If I were religious, would now be a good time to do some of that "praying" stuff?

Maybe it's just that there really is a God, and He's getting back at me for not praying to Him for the past...
*checks watch*
...nineteen years and thirteen days. How opportune of Him.

|Brought to you with love by Nick - Peter-phrodite has forsaken me! |

Monday, February 12, 2001

Obviously, the only tasteful thing about your little epic there, was me.

I have to say I am thoroughly offended by my role as being eaten. Simply because I have gorged myself on chocolates recently, and I am consequently quite sweet, is no reason to have me eaten in the first scene. Therefore, let me present my variation:

anciet greece, Mt. Olympus

As Floyd is eaten again and again and again without notice, he wonders...

"For a world full of heroes, it is a shame that nobody is bothering to help me..."

Obviously I have done some terrible offense to the Fates, who now torment me. There is only one thing I can possibly do to appease them..."

later, at the disco

"Thank you very much, Mis-ter Ro-bot-to..."

And thus the Fates were appeased, and the gods commenced with the aforementioned orgy with great rejoicing....

|Brought to you with love by Floyd - Please Gods, let me have the last word |

Monday, February 12, 2001

Why, Peter. You are a modern-day Shakespeare. Thank you for exposing your innermost thoughts and feelings in that lovely scene. I now long to show FUN! readers that I, too, am a sensitive male. I mean, female. Here is an excerpt from a play I've been writing called "Seasons of November" (which is a very sensitive-male...I mean, sensitive-female... title for a play):

scene: ancient Greece, Mount Olympus
Peter. Greetings lovely flowers. Salutations, darling dewdrops upon the lush morning grass. I am Peter-phrodite, goddess of love and I desire nothing more than this exquisite day. Now I shall retire to my bed-chamber for to engage in goddessy duties and perhaps apply some powder to my fair and also rosy cheeks.
Adam. Greetings, fair Peter-phrodite. I am Thor, God of dancing (if you call me "Lord of the Dance", you die) and keeper of the booty. May I have your hand in marriage, fair goddess of love and light? I desire nothing more than to gaze in your eyes, and perhaps get a piece of that booty. (gestures crudely)
Floyd. Help! Help! Medusa! Medusa's eating me! Oh, my leg! My leg! Now she's done with my leg, and is moving on to the rest of me! My other leg! ARGH! Why are none of you helping me? THERE'S SO MUCH BLOOD.
All. Oh, Floyd. (collective sigh)
(below Mount Olympus, peasant Swifty works his vineyards, making wine and getting filthy-drunk.)
Swifty. Hey, what's this red stuff?

And then, I plan to insert a musical number. Something catchy, like "Memory" from "Cats." It'll be great.

Also, other Team FUN! members, if you're under the impression that you weren't mentioned...you're wrong. You see, there's this big scene at the end (I suppose you could call it an orgy) and....you'll all be pleased with the way things turn out.

I'm sorry, was this extremely tasteless?

|Brought to you with love by Alex - tasteless and bland. |

Monday, February 12, 2001

Scene III. [A chamber]

Enter Peter.

Peter. 'Tis most unfortunate this day of year
   That I in rapture stay, remain at school,
   While winter tempests shake the very ground,
   And icy demons tempt the trees to fall.
   What ho! Who comes?

Enter Alex and Servants

Alex.      Tis I, O monstrous one;
   I come to claim that which you have from I
   Robb'd without a fleeting glance, but yet
   Your ignorance sets thus upon your face!

Peter. I am indeed confused, as in my state
   Of restless hope for that which will not come -
   A leave of absense taken to go home!
   What wrong have I committ'd 'gainst thy self?

Alex. Indeed your mind must not be quite awake;
   In slumber I, eterne, was justly wak'd
   By servant dearest. To my side I bore
   Witness to a most foul abberation:
   My golden necklace, constant companion
   And gift of love most pure, from my own Neil,
   Was stol'd and gone from where I kept it safe!
   'Tis you I seek in err this fortune's night.

Peter. My deepest regrets for what has transpired
   This awful day. But I have it not!
   Perchance you could enlist my quick help,
   And, together, we could track this awful beast.

Enter Adam.

Adam. My appearance will be justly quick and short,
   Such I may offer only this retort:
   It seems to me that Peter's quite the fool,
   And has an excess of spare time in school.

Exeunt.

Peter. O, knave!

|Brought to you with love by Peter - Out, damned spot! |

Sunday, February 11, 2001

Ahdumn: you're so sensitive. i love it.
Ahdumn: you are SO the mom of Team FUN!
Judah Nielsen: and you're sleeping on the couch.

|Brought to you with love by Adam - Team FUN!'s biological father |

Sunday, February 11, 2001

Haiku has long been the official verse of Team FUN!, but did you know:

Haiku was invented in Japan in 1533 as a way to pass secret messages between lovers in warring clans. An example of such a message might be, "dude, your clan sucks, except you. punkin head. :: kissy noises ::".
When Commodore Perry 'opened' Japan for trade in (wild guess) the 1850's, the Haiku was presented as a ceremonial gift to the round-eyed men in the big ships.
Haiku was voted "outstanding verse form" by the National Association of Students-Who-Don't-Care-Enough-To-Rhyme-But-Are-Great-With-Syllables.
If you write "Mr. Owl ate my metal worm" backwards, you get "mrow latem ym eta lwO .rM"

Haiku's history with Team FUN! has been just as storied. We've had 50 Haiku on gravel submitted virtually unsolicited, as well as a slew of Haiku driven posts like the one immediately preceding the post immediately preceding this post.

I can only speak for myself, but I feel confident that as long as men post to fun.pitas.com, the Haiku will remain a viable part of the otherwise pretty shitty genre of poetry.

|Brought to you with love by Judah - thinks a cat just floated by the window |

Saturday, February 10, 2001

I just noticed that two of the (extremely male) members of Team FUN! have "haiku poetry" - or some variant - listed as one of their turn-ons.

In no way did the post previous to this one mean that I'm trying to make a pass at you.

I just felt I needed to say that.

|Brought to you with love by Nick - So *not* nursing homoerotic urges |

Saturday, February 10, 2001

Home from my college
My rest and relaxation
Is intermittent

Sick with bronchitis
My date called off, I sit here
Avenging my lungs

Hark! An IM waits
Is it someone interesting?
No, it's just Adam

Spring, summer, autumn
Are not mentioned in these lines
For I give no crap

Care packages, ho!
Powerpuff Girls videos
Calm my frazzled nerves

"Laughter is helpful,"
Says the wise old Chinese sage.
What a steaming pile.

Ticalc.org
Exceeds fifteen thousand files
Nobody applauds.

nickd goes insane
Writing these godforsaken
Japanese Haiku.

*bows*

|Brought to you with love by Nick - Nickd enjoys rhyme / The bard of Japanese verse / Or beatnik on crack? |

Saturday, February 10, 2001

I would like to point out that Dr. Judah Nielsen is one of the smartest men of all time. Honestly. He has been promoted to Dr. of everything, including "Dr. of Jeff's 1985 VW Jetta with 187,548 miles". His advice was most helpful this morning.

I would also like to know if I can apply for another position at Team FUN! along with writer, like founder or chocolate taster or music critic/reviewer or even pet namer. I am fully prepared to fill out several page applications and everything.

|Brought to you with love by Jeff - I'm addicted to Christ |

Friday, February 9, 2001

Someday I'm going to get on the bus (public transportation bus, that is) and sit down. (Radical, huh?) Then, when I'm about to get off the bus I'll take out a little motorized screwdriver and start disassembling the seat. "What are you doing?" the bus driver would ask. "I'm taking the seat, of course. What did you think I paid you the 75 cents for, huh? The pleasure of your company?" I'll reply saucily. Then I'll pick up the large, heavy bus seat and run away before he calls the police.

|Brought to you with love by Alex - Oh dear, I think I've been egged! |

Thursday, February 8, 2001

Now I know most of you might be a little gun shy when it comes to oranges after Meg's sensational photos (I have my doubts as to their validity) , and so I thought I would remind you all of the citrus family's one redeeming member: The Chocolate Orange.

Terry's Chocolate Oranges
These are perhaps my favorite chocolates in existence. The refreshing combination of smooth milk chocolate combined with a splash of citrus flavor swirling behind every morsel is simply delightful. I really couldn't ask for more from a chocolate.

But they offer more. In addition to their memorable flavor, one gets the satisfaction of slamming these suckers down on a table to separate the orange "slices." Some feral joy is derived by the need to slam one's chocolate onto a hard surface before consumption; it just feels right.

You can't get this kind of combination of great taste and primal pleasure from any other candy I can think of, so go ahead. Satisfy your taste buds and your base urges to destroy with Terry's Chocolate Oranges

Note:Also available in Rasberry, and Bluberry. I do not recommend these flavors in any way. I think they are wicked nasty.

|Brought to you with love by Floyd - can be found in the produce aisle sometimes |

Thursday, February 8, 2001

In the what is to be the first of many historical pieces, I prouly present An essay from an application that we accepted:

Eighties Heroism:
Once upon a time, Bill Clinton finally snapped, due to constant streams of adultery jokes about him, told by Jay Leno, usually involving fat girls in blue dresses. Why did they humiliate him so? It was a one time thing. Usually he commits adultery with thin girls. He threatened to release a deadly nerve gas on the Earth's population, unless Jay Leno was buried under a fat girl in a blue dress, but Cyndi Lauper, his current "buddy", started doing odd movements resembling a chicken doing a marathon to distract him while that "Hey Mickey" girl shot him in the back of the head.

See ya next time!

|Brought to you with love by Judah - Has a whole folder full of this crap |

Thursday, February 8, 2001

Speaking of Lawless Band of Savages (which would be an excellent band name), a friend and I have decided that we need to start a new social group at school. You know, goths. Punks. Preps. Jocks. Geeks. Warlike Nomadic Tribes.

Yes, Warlike Nomadic Tribes.

Instead of eating lunch in the cafeteria, we'd eat outside in the snow. We'd roast squirrels we caught with long wooden spears over an open fire. Sometimes we'd catch a dog or one of those annoying year-round rollerbladers wearing spandex that excercise behind my school and have a great feast during which the elders would tell stories of the old days when our people used to wear GAP clothing to school. As for fashion...two words: sheepskin loincloths, baby. I suppose those were thre words.

During class we'd never sit in our chairs, we'd crouch with a feral expression on our faces, clutching a spear or perhaps whittling a brand new arrowhead out of shiny obsidian. Sometimes, when taking tests, the untamed havoc of our tribal drumming would startle the other students out of their quiet contemplation.

When a member of a different social tribe treaded upon our campground, we'd leap forth onto our trusted wild-stallions and gallop o'er the lands (or halls) wreaking general havoc and sounding our fearsome battle cry. We'd probably loot and pillage a few classes too.

Our campground would probably be in each and every bathroom. Nobody shall use the restrooms as long as Mongol tribes control Asia. I mean, Boulder High School.

My high school's motto is "Boulder High: A Place for Everyone," and I sincerely believe that "everyone" includes "warlike nomadic tribes". Thank you for your time.

|Brought to you with love by Alex - Boulder High: A Place. |

Wednesday, February 7, 2001

this is why i don't live in florida.

|Brought to you with love by meg - takes vitamen c supplements. |

Tuesday, February 6, 2001

(whir)
(clik)

HELLO...HUMANS. MY NAME...IS TO-BOR.

(whir)
(clik)

FOR...MONTHS...NOW...WE HAVE CAPTURED...YOUR FRIEND..."SWIFTY." HE..HAS BEEN UNDER...SURVEILLANCE.

(whir)
(clik)

AFTER...PROVING...TOTAL...LACK OF WORTH...TO US...WE HAVE...DISCARDED...HIM.

(whir)
(clik)

PLEASE...RECLAIM HIM. HE...HAS CONSUMED...ALL OF OUR...BEVERAGES.

|Brought to you with love by swifty - if you please on a kaiser bun |

Tuesday, February 6, 2001

*Finger-click applauds Alex's haiku* If my test intsructions were ever like that, I probably would have read them for a change.

It's raining right now. Hmmm. Don't you just love staring, thoughtfully, out the window on a rainy day or a stormy night? I know I do. What a shame my window faces a brick wall.

I really have nothing to say. I probably would, if my window were somewhat more inspiring. So instead I'll just stare thoughtfully into my computer screen.

*Stares*.

|Brought to you with love by Ariana - Still staring |

Monday, February 5, 2001

Going through a standardized test booklet, I realize that it provides a bad educational example. The sentences are blase and plain, with no real literary flair. "The questions are numbered, and the suggested answers for each question are lettered." Where's the soul? Where's the panache? It needs more feeling, and more poetry. Presenting...The PLAN test in haiku form.

thirty minutes for questions
work swiftly and without fear
read them carefully
please make pencil marks
complete as the midnight sky
scantron mania
choice must stand alone
lonely as the weeping swan
in still paper pond
small "c" in circle
two thousand zero zero
and then emptiness

Yeah.

|Brought to you with love by Alex - rights reserved like solar eclipse |

Monday, February 5, 2001

Floyd, robots in specific kick my ass. Especially this one named "Model X4KH." He waits for me every day after school, and takes my crack money. (That's money FOR buying crack, mind you, not money gained from selling it. That would be wrong.) But I have a plan. Me and my ragtag team of misfit friends (Timmy (the geek), Boomer (the cool dude who skateboards), Sarah (the tough girl), and The Fat Kid Who's There For Comic Relief) are going to get revenge on him in a clever and harmless way. He'll realize his mistake and the movie will conclude in a touching, heartwarming manner. Then the credits will run, as a sugary song by 98 degrees plays.

Robots honestly DO rock, though. It's a commonly known fact. The dance "the Robot" also rocks. I can do it, but in a much faster, weirder, and clumsier fashion.

|Brought to you with love by Alex - how many "shh's" does it take to get to the center of your head? |

Monday, February 5, 2001

Oh how I heart thee! Since the recent peasant revolt, Floyd has not only capitalized his name and first word of his pagename, but random words therein. I think that this is what the Reverend Martin Luther King alluded to whilst marching the streets of Alabama singing "We Shall Overcome". Or was that Reverend Run and Cleveland and "Walk This Way"? At any rate, mi corozón va afuera a todos!

|Brought to you with love by Jeff - That's right baby, spanish, history, and rap is my life |

Sunday, February 4, 2001

After being suddenly struck today by a memory of better times, I recalled one of the things that has brought the most Fun to my life.

Why the hell were Rockem Sockem Robots so damn cool? My Mom had an old Rockem Sockem Robots toy and I frickin' loved that thing. Boys and their violence, I suppose. In any case, I lost those precious robots and I've never seen a set since.

I suppose I could go on Ebay or something, but I'm not sure that they would really entertain me anymore. But I long for the days when they would. Completely.

|Brought to you with love by Floyd - Robots In general kick my ass |

Saturday, February 3, 2001

Wow, that'll teach me to trust the "Monsters of the Midday."

|Brought to you with love by Justin - That part of me is very disappointed. |

Saturday, February 3, 2001

And, in my official position of Team FUN! Debunker Of Things That Should Never Have Been Bunked In The First Place...

Sorry, Justin. It just ain't true.

In my opinion, the only person out there who can play Mr. Wonka properly is Steve Buscemi, and I do not shit you. Also, the new film won't be a remake of the old one, it'll be a new adaptation of the book, which is a pretty exciting prospect.

|Brought to you with love by Todd - A little nonsense now and then is relished by the wisest men... |

Friday, February 2, 2001

So I'm listening to the radio when I hear the most amazing thing. Tim Burton is remaking the classic, "Willy Wonka and the Chocolate Factory." He is supposedly going to give it a dark edge. One of the ways he will accomplish this is by casting Marilyn Manson as Willy Wonka. You see, Mr. Burton feels that the Wonka character represents Satan, tempting the children, giving them the choice to take the bait or not. (remember the scenes where the children are succumbing to the temptations while Wonka puts forth no effort to stop them? eh?) I really do not know what to think of this remake in the making. Part of me is repulsed by the idea of twisting around a classic children's movie. Yet, another part of me is extremely intrigued. If you stop and think about the movie, it was already pretty "odd" to say the least. I mean, the scene in the tunnel where the chicken's head gets cut off used to scare the crap out of me. That intrigued part of me can't wait to see what dark things Tim Burton will do with the remake. That part of me also can't wait to see Marilyn Manson hovering over the children with his band of Oompa Loompas hammering out the heavy intro to "Beautiful People" in the background. Yep, I think that part of me will be dragging the other part of me to see that movie as soon as it comes out.

|Brought to you with love by Justin - by no means a Marilyn Manson fan. |

Friday, February 2, 2001

A bright and cheerful morrow to you all! for I, Lord Peter the Eleventeenth, bear good tidings for all present parties involved in this dee-lightful Inter-net experience! Our very own Adam, by no divine inspiration nor extraneous method, has found it within his power and scope to once again save my precious person from otherwise not-uncertain demise. Allow me to elaborate, and gather ye round:

I sat last Sunday 'neath the community Poplar tree in Ole Westabbey Park, quietly enjoying to myself a book of poems lent from my family's private collection and feeling the fresh spirits of nature toss my impish locks of darkened brown hair too-and-fro (I have been told by many a lady friend, at least - allow me not to get too imprudent! A-tee-hee) It was past midday by a shadow's length, and every word seemed to drag out by just so much more as I eagerly anticipated the sup to come that evening. I was thoroughly relaxed, and I must admit quite close to dozing off in my studies, when a thick necked ruffian approached me from the west! His shadow stretched long and far behind him, and I had barely noticed him before he was quite nearly upon me. Startled, I let out a wail of discontent, not quite so loud as to arouse the suspicions of anyone around me unneccessarily, as I hate to make a spectacle of my self when it is not of dire straits, but this seemed only to anger the brute. He advanced with all the more gusto and my very safety was quickly endangered!

"Help! Help!" I cried to a furtive end; no one around me was keen on listening and few so much as turned their heads! I was quite sure I was done-for, when I was startled by the welcome visage of our own Adam to my right.

"Where the hell have you been?" he asked of me angrily, but his ill temper was no match for my relief in his presence. I thanked him heartily for his intervention and quickly got up - I nearly dropped and left my book of poetry at this point! but was quick-witted enough to remember it and fetch it again - as he ushered me away, mumbling some nonsense about a time machine and how I was to avoid it at all costs. He brought me back to my home, where I have been living since in both reverend praise of his bravery and simple relief in my fate. Perhaps a star's malignment was to that ruffian's pleasure, but he would gain no advance from my fortune, thanks in majority to Adam's bravery.

A toast! and a round of applause, from one very happy gentleman who owes you his debt of gratitude.

|Brought to you with love by Lord Peter the Eleventeenth! |

Friday, February 2, 2001

On this fine Groundhog Day I plan to do two things.

Thing the primary; Rent a Lear Jet to fly me out to Salem to spend the day with the hippies playing ultimate frisbee on the mall in front of the capitol building. No Stuart, if you come on the jet where will all my "fly girls" sit? But if you want some fly girls of your own, they are currently very cheap, what with "In Living Color" not as popular as when they made the shows.

Thing the secondary; Go out and buy gifts for all my friends for William Henry Harrison's birthday! It is exactly one week from today! Surprise all your friends by showering them with gifts.

|Brought to you with love by Jeff - History major |

Saturday, February 3, 2001

Groundhog Day means nothing to me because I have a whole extra month of summer at my disposal. Oh, the joys of time travelling. What a shame I don't appreciate the extra month, huh? I'm pretty sick of the weather and using fans. Like, I have one on right now and it's blowing directly into my face and it's making my hair weird, and drying out my eyeballs. Man, what is up with that dry, eyeball thing?? It's like chapped lips on your eyes, it's not pleasant at all. Now I've turned it off to let my eyes moisten, and I don't really need it on anyway because it's a cold day. Did I mention we had something like 150 millimetres of rain on Wednesday? Craaaazy. I only stepped in one puddle, and I didn't become soggy shoe woman. I'm extremely proud of myself.

A big FUN! welcome back to sexy voiced Todd, and I would also like to mention I can never tell Vanilla Ice and Milli Vanilli apart. I am a music nerd.

|Brought to you with love by Ariana - I never make sense. teapot. |

Friday, February 2, 2001

Groundhog Day? Err...I'll be spending it like I have been the last few Fridays, working stage crew for a play. But maybe instead of the traditional all black, I'll wear a groundhog suit. See how that goes.

|Brought to you with love by Todd - Don't drive angry! |

Thursday, February 1, 2001

So I was sitting here, fresh back from cleaning fishtanks with Mr. DeWitt, when it hit me in the face like the dead fish I've so often made Jeff remove from the tank because they're too icky for me too - tomorrow's Groundhog Day. And what will I do to celebrate such a keen day in our history? I have no clue! So everyone must tell me their plans, and possibly fly me out to the west coast to include me therein. Bill Murray is good, but not that good.

|Brought to you with love by Stuart - All giddied up |

Thursday, February 1, 2001

This is true. Time traveling ruined my life, and it'll do the same to yours. Since I started time traveling, I've had to breathe at least EVERY MINUTE, and have gotten sharp pains in my stomach after not eating for a week. Often I have trouble doing normal things like, say, bending steel bars with my bare hands. Sometimes I have difficulty concentrating on four-hour-long lectures. At times I wonder what my life would be like if I had never tried it. I'd probably still be normal.

Kids, Time-Traveling free is the way to be. Just say no.

But, Adam. I really think that, if you're worried about people abusing time-traveling privileges, you should just stop leaving the keys to the time machine lying around. Seriously.

Finally, I'd like everyone to note that during this week, ten years ago, Vanilla Ice's "To the Extreme" was the number one bestselling album in America. A moment of silence, please, for the career of Mr. Ice.

thank you.

|Brought to you with love by Alex - I'm all dressed up like The Cure |

Thursday, February 1, 2001

I wasn't going to archive, because having a cable modem, the download time didn't bug me. However, our very own Judah was so set on having me archive that he went to extreme measures to make sure that I got the job done.

He snuck into my room early this morning around 4:00 AM wearing black combat boots, black jeans, a black sweatshirt, a black cap, and he had black paint smeared across his face. I was awoken when I saw him trying to crawl through my window. "Judah?" I said. I got out of bed and put on my night gown just as he tumbled through my window and on to my floor. "What the hell are you doing here, Judah???" I demanded. Just then he lunged toward me, out of breath. He toppled me and we landed on my bed.

Though gasping for air, he managed to command me to "archive..... the... god damn..... page... " and then pulled out his fencing foil and aimed it right to my head.

"Alright.. I'll archive the page... geez!"

So here I am. We're archived and we're all happy. I know that Floyd is our chocolate taster, but I just want to say that chocolate covered pretzels are a gift from the gods.

One more thing... NO MORE TIME TRAVELING!! As Judah said, Ariana is the only one allowed to time travel. If all you children keep playing with the time machine, it will BREAK, and then what will we do?! The time machine is not a toy. We are to use it only when we need to - like when we had to send Judah back in time to save Alex who, by the way, got stuck back in time after toying around with the time machine!

SO COOL IT WITH THE TIME TRAVELING!!!

|Brought to you with love by Adam - busy, busy, busy. |

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