Sunday, August 26, 2001
Adam, I swear I will personally rip your gall bladder out with my bare hands for that last comment! You know they quit after the T387, jackass.
Saturday, August 25, 2001
You think your T3 is special? It couldn't hold a candle to my T578!!!! I can download files before I even click on the link! EAT THAT!!!!!!!!
Thursday, August 23, 2001
Since I haven't a weblog like Adam or Peter (I wish I knew how to make those links), I will anounce my move here on FUN!. Tomorrow Kalamazoo gets taken by storm, and I will be posting from my laptop in 526 Eldridge. Stop by if you get the time.
Tuesday, August 21, 2001
As some of you may know, I'm in San Francisco right now, visiting and old friend, Slick. I am happy, and well fed, and feeling happy!
I wasn't really going to post, but when I saw Leah's post, I wanted to say, 'LEAH! Don't go! You're cool!'
Sunday, August 19, 2001
So, I haven't posted in a long time. I never want to because I just feel stupid because I don't feel as intelligent as the rest of you. I never have funny stories to tell. I don't have FUN! things to say.
You can take me off the members list, Judah.
Thanks for the FUN! times.
Friday, August 17, 2001
Sitting here in East Lansing with Stu and Rob, we notice a public access channel. Two stoners are sitting down and talking without a point and taking calls. Of course, we call. Rob talked without point for an apparent eternity, we snaked off the show with "good caller" status. We have made our mass media debut!
Thursday, August 16, 2001
My favorite part of your last post was the Gorilla, because he was advertising for my favorite primate band, Parking Lot. I went to their last CD release party, at the Catalyst, and it was pretty fly.
Thursday, August 16, 2001
And because I was informed that my previous post was not a sufficient contribution, I have asked three emo experts to explain why nobody posts anymore.
---------------------------
emo brendan:
it's because they've all realized what a depressing waste of time having fun is. In fact, they've probably realized what a depressing waste of time anything is. man. shit.
emo jason:
that's stupid. with my guitar, and my faith, I can change the world. nothing's better than my music.
Wednesday, August 15, 2001
So last night my girlfriend and I are in the checkout lane at our local grocery store, right? And there in the lane, amongst the impulse shopping toenail clippers, and minty-fresh sock warmers, was a copy of the fine publication The Weekly World News.
Now, I don't buy into this stuff, but right there, next to the article 'Jesus Spotted Buying New Car Scent Air Freshener In Pismo Beach Convienyamart' was this little blurb:
Team FUN! members dropping like flies in multinational murder scandal!
I bought one immediately. Now I know why there haven't been any posts! You're all dead! All dead... *sob* Well, except for you lucky few I haven't been able to kill yet.
I mean, uhm, er, I think what I meant to say there was, 'the lucky few I haven't been able to hug yet'. Yeah. That's it. Gotta go.
Wednesday, August 8, 2001
You know, it would be just jache to get a decent night's sleep. However, in order for that to happen, I'm going to need Team FUN! member Adam Zavala to stop coming to my bedroom window at four in the morning. I mean, sure I'd love to talk, but I'd love to sleep as well. And last night, bringing that dead vagrant with you, well, I'm simply not zoned for that sort of thing. And lastly, when you write things in blood on my window, could you write them backwards? That way I don't have to go outside to read them. Thanks, Adam.
Monday, August 6, 2001
That's right! I got to meet the illustrious and paprazzi hunted Jeff DeWitt and Stuart of the house and lineage of Bergstrom a famed warrior and chef extraordinaire.
Jeff spent the day showing me Grand Haven, a quaint and picturesque town, full of life, beauty, and dutch Republicans. He told me of his town's efforts to end homelessness, their heartfelt desire to get African American's the hell away from the tourists, and all about the town leadership's black black twisted evil hearts. It was really quite touching.
Then we hooked up with Stu, a charming and affable fellow, went back to my girlfriend, Star's place, and smoked thirteen rocks of crack. Gee goly, I haven't been that high since Reagan was elected.
Monday, August 6, 2001
Todd, maize and blue are the University of Michigan's colors, and as a rejected applicant to that school, I am given the right to use them.
Also, in a mini-Team FUN! extravaganza yesterday, J.ames came to town and we tore up Grand Haven, and then Stu came along to tear up Grand Rapids. The two towns will never be the same, that's for sure. It surprises me as to how much FUN! three intelligent people with a handful of methamphedamines can have.
P.S. - My first impression of J.ames was that I (along with my trusty longboard) could take him if push came to shove. J.ames' first impression of Stu sadly deals with soup.
Saturday, August 4, 2001
During another forced shopping excursion by a certain friend yesterday, I found myself to be the only person buying something (which, I assure you, is rarely the case). And out of all the places to make said purchase, it was in a store called "Gadzooks". I was too ashamed to even carry the bag. However, I picked up a kickass pair of maize and blue Saucony shoes for under seven, count 'em, seven dollars. Now I can be a real indie rocker! I had no idea how amazingly comfortable these damn shoes were, or I would have worn them for life. I think I may have a problem with shoes, this is getting sick.
Wednesday, August 1, 2001
You know what's FUN!? Borrowing from both ends of the social spectrum. It confuses people, gives you a great headrush, and it's oh so easy. For example, you can read a chapter from Atlas Shrugged or some other book loved only by ivory tower shitheads, and then you can ogle at the blurred out wet t-shirt contests on E's Wild On.... Play a round of tennis in a pricey private club, then steal road cones in your best friend's pickup. So, so many options.
Monday, July 30, 2001
I'm relatively certain I've snapped. *pauses* Yup.
You mention college, Floyd...
Not quite going anymore. That is to say, I am still going, if working 65 hours a week between two jobs during the day, and bartending at night is called going to college.
I moved out recently... Not really sure where I'm living right now. THe back of my truck sure is comfy, though.
I'm sorry to use this as blog space - but I've somewhat dropped off of the 'net until I can get back on my feet (in Britain, which I'll explain some other time). So this gives me a chance to update the world as to, well, whether I'm alive or not.
Mom and Dad, I know you read this, I love you. I'm at about a pack a day, but I serve way too much alcohol to old scary men with skull tattoos to drink any myself. (And no, mom, the black and blue hair isn't the result of a severe follicle laceration, I just dyed it.) And Star's a good girl, give her a chance.
Love to you all until I can get to another computer,
j.ames
P.S. - if, um, any of you can give me a hand staying stable emotionally, that'd be really cool. (i.e. - cook me dinner, give me a couch to crash on, etc.), I still check my email at c02factory@hotmail.com daily if I can. thanks, j.ames.
Sunday, July 29, 2001
Well, I am back, and I will definitely be posting more coherently later. Most likely about crab racing. I now know that Peter is the luckiest man on Earth, because his state has crab racing. CRAB RACING!
Thursday, July 26, 2001
Because I have nothing better to do with my life than sit and make minute alterations to my eBay account, I put up a super fun crazy About Me page. I know, it's really terrible, but please try to stave off your roars of laughter long enough for me to lynch myself.
And, by "myself," I mean "Adam Zavala."
Did you know that bone bread tastes best when lightly browned immediately after cooking? CAUSE I DIDN'T!
Tuesday, July 24, 2001
So I'd noticed the time machine was kind of going unused over the past few months, just sitting there gathering dust and sucking power in the corner. I also noticed that several people haven't posted anything in many, many months, namely the pragmatic and charming Leah and Alex. So, being the creative genius I am, I decided to put two and two together.
Adam, I hope you don't get mad at me, but I sort of junked the Time Machine for parts. Those, combined with a (somewhat long-distance) trip to Pittsburgh Steel for weldable metal, as well as to the local Radio Shack for some 17-ohm resistors and a trimline phone (those things are so nifty!) produced what I am tenatively calling Lealexah Version 1.0 Beta (the Alpha version, I'm sorry to report, exploded when I put the batteries in backwards). So far it can hobble around on the legs I made for it, blink the LED eyes, and make threats to anyone who would question its robot might! I'm currently working on the keyboard interface, so it can post here. I took a picture during the first public interaction trial:
Lealexah v1.0B tried to order a #2 with fries, but it came out "I WILL CRUSH YOU WITH MY ELECTRONIC MIGHT", so I still have some work to do on the data interpretation algorithms. I'll keep you all updated...
Saturday, July 21, 2001
Ok, so practically every single one of Adam's posts expresses some kind of deranged fantasy involving me, but staring in his window, eating a peach? What the hell?
Saturday, July 21, 2001
Try reading the previous post whilst listening to ragtime.
In fact, try reading any FUN! post whilst listening to ragtime, and I think it makes them at least five times as funny.
Now we know how people endured the turn of the century.
Saturday, July 21, 2001
I saw a gentleman spying into my window this morning, and it startled me. Upon further investigation, I came to the realization that the man spying into my window was Team FUN!'s very own Judah Nielsen, and he was eating a peach.
Tuesday, July 17, 2001
I am posting to let all of you know I won't be posting until August. Much like Adam is currently on, I am headed on vacation. North Carolina or bust!
Oh yeah, Peter: If you find yourself in the Outer Banks, I suggest you check out the beach in Buxton, because I will be there.
Friday, July 13, 2001 j.ames - Hi, hello? Is Judah there? Judah - 'Sup, dog? j.ames - Greetings and Salutations! I apologize for my absence as of late. I've been finding an apartment, since my parents kicked me out, and - Judah - I want none a yo smack, boy! I ain't gunna tell ya 'gain. You best post, fool! I be talking 'bout bone-bread up in this and ya'll be sittin' back - you tried my recipe yet? j.ames - Well, no, I - Judah - I don't want no excuses PUNK! j.ames - But, but Judah, please understand, I can't make bone bread - i don't even have a kitchen to make it in! Judah - Uh, huh. Right. I'm shuh I've got lots 'a pity fo' you. For instance, if you don't post - I'm gonna pity yo lyin-in-a-hospital-bed-with-a-halo-an-neck-brace-on self. Oh, I'll pity you then. j.ames - *gulp* Uh, uhm... *click*
Friday, July 13, 2001
(A: He's never got PHP to work yet.)
By the way, all, fresh bone flour tastes best, and unless you happen to know how long that bag at the grocery store has been sitting there, I suggest you grind your own. It's a little time consuming, sure, but it makes all the difference in flavor.
Friday, July 13, 2001
I just realized how bad my FUN! staff photo sucks. We're not talking some mildly bad suckage here, we're referring to full-on, hard-ass-core 100% suck, and it's not pretty. To this end, you'll probably want to look at the nickd.org sex cam for a more accurate representation of my visage.
I wish Pitas didn't make you hardcode line breaks; I've been using br tags since well before that whole scuffle between Rome and Carthage, and it's getting rather annoying. I propose we use nickd.org's updating system on this site for the sheer purpose of convenience (it adds BRs for you). This server can do PHP, right? Zavala, you can chmod things, right? If not, give me root and I'll do it for you :)
Of all the pictures she had to use, it had to be the one of me licking the Realemon bottle, didn't it? DIDN'T IT?!??!
Bone bread works best lightly toasted with bruschetta. Make sure the bone bread is warm, and the diced tomatoes cold. Don't overdo the oils! You don't want to soak the bone bread and make it soft; keep it firm and crisp.
Wednesday, July 11, 2001
Sorry to burst your bubble, but bonebread is made just like any other kind of bread, with one exception: the key ingredient is bone flour. So you need a bone mill to make bone flour to make bone bread in a bone bread maker.
Monday, July 9, 2001
Oh yeah, and could I get that bonebread recipe off of you Judah? I'm attending a baby shower this weekend, and I think a good bonebread would be just perfect.
Monday, July 9, 2001
Do you know what is not FUN!? Allergies. Could someone please tell me when and how I developed them? I used to be allergic to just long haired cats and dogs, and not even severely at all. However, just recently I have been sneezing and my eyes watering all the time. Whyfore? Has my nerd level increased? Or, is it some terrible voodoo trick performed daily by a Team FUN! member!? That's it, I want a complete witchhunt around here until we find out who is to blame.
I will start. SInce he is on vacation and may not be able to defend himself, Adam's a witch!
Sunday, July 8, 2001
Sorry, Nick. I just started calling you that for some reason, and now it's stuck. At least it's not "the evil nickd" or worse yet, "the ********** bastard nickd."
Will I be censured for including ******** in my post? It was a vague reference I swear!
Friday, July 6, 2001
I really don't have anything relevant to say (although that doesn't seem to be a prerequisite for posting anymore), so I will now proceed to speak of the first widely accepted institution that comes to mind.
...............cookies. They are better frozen if they are traditional oatmeal or chocolate chip. They take longer to eat, and gain a very enjoyable chewy consistency after a few hours of freezing. If you are suffering from an unbearably hot climate right now, then try a frozen cookie. The cookie will never be the same again.
The proceeding was my board-induced obligatory post. Thank you.
Thursday, July 5, 2001
I would just like all you Team FUN! fans that I still love you! You won't find me not posting, though my posts will lack humour, insight, or a point. That is all.
Sunday, July 1, 2001
Last night was not only the best Cheap Trick concert I've ever seen, it was also the only. Regardless, it was awesome. Rick Nielson is by far one of the most entertaining performers ever, though slightly discredited by how old and horny he was. The only problem was that the set was too short, most likely because of the inclimate weather (read: wether). It doesn't matter, because both the Stu-man and I took home a Rick Nielson guitar pick, which I now carry in my billfold.
Friday, June 29, 2001
Jeff, such a thing does not exist. Thank you for nearly making my brain explode in the attempt, though.
Now, what I'm really on the lookout for is a picture of Swifty photoshopped into some outrageous situation. Where oh where could I possibly find such a thing?
Thursday, June 28, 2001
Just to keep things interesting, could anyone find me a picture of a Cheap Trick rocker Rick Nielsen without a hat? I think that will be more challenging than mayonaise.
Saturday, June 23, 2001
Thanks Peter. When I had mayonnaise related needs I knew my first and last stop would be Team FUN!
Now, on a somehow related note, everyone recognizes this "v" character right? It took me a great deal of time to convince someone over aim that it was the letter after "u," pronounced "vee," rather than some sort of weird upside down carrot (^) symbol. Apparently, someone had been harrassing her in a small sans serif font with im's containing soley the letter "v." After further harrassment she im'd me again asking why "All her base our belong to us?" and what it means to "Send someone up a bomb?" At that point I could no longer control my laughter. I immediately joined in the harrassment.
Monday, June 18, 2001
Alright, 'fess up. Who clicked on that webcam link immediately after reading a post suggesting that he was only wearing underwear and a watch?
One, two, yes, Adam, I saw you already, ok, put your hands down.
Sunday, June 17, 2001
If I could, I would like to ask for a little help from the rest of Team FUN!. To quote Cat Stevens, I'm in an awful way.
First, could someone please warm it up around here? It caps out each day at like 75 degrees. I woke up this morning at 9 and had to wear pants and a sweatshirt and a fleece jacket. It is mid-june for the love of jeebus. Who controls the weather? Adam? Swifty I'll bet!
Secondly, could someone please explain England to me? Mike couldn't.
Saturday, June 16, 2001
I would like, if I may, to extol for a moment the virtuoso acting debut I witnessed this evening.
The debut of the two newest stars of the silver screen.
Angelina Jolie's Breasts.
While it is true they have played supporting roles in other films, never have they so commanded the attention of the viewer. Angelina Jolie's Breasts, in the film Tomb Raider, displayed a range and depth of emotion rarely seen at the cinema since the Barrymore family ruled the roost.
Witness, for example, the pathos of Angelina Jolie's Breasts as they struggle to cope with the loss of Lara's father. The internal struggle between right and wrong as Angelina Jolie's Breasts are forced to make a painful decision. And the sheer heroism as Angelina Jolie's Breasts careen from one thrill-packed action scene to the next.
Ladies and gentlemen, on this evening, I cheered for Angelina Jolie's Breasts. I gasped at Angelina Jolie's Breasts. And, yes, I even wept for Angelina Jolie's Breasts. Not since I was first exposed to the cinematic oeuvre of one Francois Truffault has a film so transported me.
God bless you, Angelina Jolie's Breasts. God Bless You.
Wednesday, June 13, 2001
*Phew* I was worried I was the only one left! Kinda like stumbling onto the Survivor(tm) set late in the season.
*Notices surroundings* Waitaminutehere... This is a BritishAir(tm) flight! Aren't all planes to hell TWA(tm)'s? No, wait... that's just planes FROM hell(tm).
Since you brought up delicious delicious techno, I recntly snagged a copy of Tranceport II by Dave Ralph. Sweet sweet delicious Sasha(tm)...
*plane lands in hell, jim gets off and is greeted by a troop of beautiful Wahinis* Ha. Thought hell was gonna be bad, huh? *sticks tongue out at Nick(tm)*
Wednesday, June 13, 2001
James, you aren't the only one here. I'm around, too!
(pushes James on a plane to hell)
Now that that's settled, I'd like to inform the adamant crowd of FUN! readers that - yes - I've been listening to Kraftwerk way, way too much for my own good, and I think the inundation of '70s German pop techno is warping my brain. Onward!
Peter and Dan are currently trapped in a large cardboard box in my basement, and I haven't fed them in two days. I'm pondering poking air holes in the box.
On an unrelated note, I'm going to Great America today. I will be dropped off a large metal structure and enjoy it. Yeah, that's one of my weird eccentricities.
Tuesday, June 12, 2001 *clears throat* So... uh... I'm apparently the only person here... *shuffles foot in the dirt* Aw, c'mon guys! This isn't funny! No fair ditching me! I bet you're all at those parties we were talking about earlier... *sniffle* Fine then... I'll just wait here...
