Tuesday, March 26, 2002
Goddamn that song! Goddamn it to hell!
I'd thought I'd heard the last of it when I burned my sister's tapes that dark afternoon, and now it's back! Whyyyyy.......?
Tuesday, March 26, 2002 I saw a peanut stand,
Heard a rubber band,
I saw a needle that winked its eye.
But I think I will have seen everything
When I see a turkey fly.
I saw a front porch swing,
Heard a diamond ring,
I saw a polka-dot railroad tie.
But I think I will have seen everything
When I see a turkey fly.
I seen a clothes horse he r'ar up and buck
And they tell me that a man made a vegetable truck
I didn't see that I only heard
But just to be sociable I'll take your word
I heard a fireside chat
I saw a baseball bat
And I just laughed till I thought I'd die
But I'd been done seen about everything
When I see a turkey fly.
Sunday, March 17, 2002
But wait! Without Team Fun! to keep the nation entertained, all life as we know it will grind to a halt! People will no longer laugh and cheer in the streets! Children in playgrounds will be quiet and fearful! PEOPLE WILL FORGET TO LOVE!
Wednesday, February 27, 2002
I learned something today. No matter what, always give in to peer pressure. You see, I thought it would be a bad idea to help Adam out with his plan. When asked if I wanted to assist in the kidnappings, I said, "No way, I'm not a chicken, you're a turkey!" But now here I am, all alone, the only person left in Team FUN! that is not partying down in jail!
Tuesday, February 19, 2002
Jeff... if you're real serious, I can help you out with that.
I'll just need a cell phone, a mini van (with a full tank of gas), some binoculars, some puppies, directions to an elementary school, some rope, a large fishing net, a bottle of chloroform, a white cloth, a wooden baseball bat, and a roll of duct tape.
Then you can have your kid. Give me about two weeks.
Monday, February 18, 2002
I WISH i had a small child of my own to teach things like that to, but i assure you that when i do, i will let swifty say all the terrible things he wants to him. And yes, it will be a boy.
Sunday, February 17, 2002
i hate you. he later said that to his dad.
tim: hey pres, what are you doin' bud?
preston: HAHAH i touchie myself dad.
i'm fairly sure tim still thinks i told him to say that. atleast you didn't teach him about rockets. he was coloring a rocket the other day and said, "WOOK. IT'S A WEE WEE MOMMA!"
i'm afraid. ::shakes head::
Thursday, February 7, 2002
well lainey, that's because i am a box!
that's right! i was created from cardboard boxes, washing-up liquid bottles and sticky-back plastic by pioneers in the cyborg creation program (twenty years ago)!
built with no expense spent, i was constructed from only the finest materials they could find about the lab, and sent out to fight crime!
Tuesday, February 5, 2002
i'm with justin. also, it's boxy. anyone else notice how he looks like a giant blue box with some freaky flag on it, and a head popping out of the top. ....wait...i'm getting turned on.
Sunday, February 3, 2002
Mike, your flag shirt doesn't look quite right. The stripes aren't parallel, and I don't see any stars. I'd try to get a refund if I were you.
Friday, February 1, 2002
Andrew Jackson! Why, I was just waiting for someone to begin conversation about him. Did you know that his wife was ostracized from the Congress-wife community because she had been previously married (and widowed)? And he was called "Old Hickory" and started an American tradition where you could come in to the White House on one day and there'd be a big wheel of cheese. Then, you'd eat cheese and talk about your problems. Andrew Jackson also passed the Specie Circular, which helped throw the United States into the Panic of 1846, which his vice-president-turned-president Martin Van Buren had to deal with. Also, he had crazy hair.
Tuesday, January 29, 2002
There's nothing quite like Queen Latifah to stop a conversation, even if it is online. Therefore I have come to re-instate a new topic. How about Andrew Jackson? Did you know that he was actually in three, count 'em three, duels? The first two didn't come to shots fired, but the third did after a lawyer insulted Jackson's wife. He knew he was a slower shot, so he dressed in big, puffy clothes to confuse the other man into not fatally wounding Jackson, withstood the first shot from his opponent an inch from his heart, remained standing, took aim, and shot the man dead. Now that's a gentleman!
Friday, January 18, 2002
queen latifah! i love her! omg! i want her autograph! you must get me the email address of said boy on her show. he will then "hook me up with her digits" (cos you know, that's how "they" talk). then i'll call her and i'll be all "what up queen? wanna go bowling?" and she'll be all "you're white aren't you?" and i'll go "yeah, how'd you know?" and she'll say "girl, black folks don't bowl. you so white!"
or she might just say "hello. i am very well. yes i'd like to go bowling."
either way get me that email address!
also, just as a side note, i have a friend named "dana owens", he's a boy. he's in a band called berwer. i don't know if you know this or not...but the queen's real name is dana owens. coincidence? i think not. i'm betting he's really her just posing as a white boy in a punk band.
Tuesday, January 15, 2002
You won't believe what i heard today. I was in my geography class, and I had just beaten my high score on tetris when it was time to go. But, as I was leaving, I heard the kid behind me say,
"Hey Ryan, were you on the Queen Latifah show?"
To which he replied, "Yeah, why?"
"Dude, last night I saw you on the Queen Latifah show at three in the morning!"
This brings up so many questions for me like "did someone just reference the queen latifah show?" and "why is there a queen latifah show?" and "why was this kid watching it?" and "why was the other kid on the show?" and "was he in the audience or actually a guest?" Needless to say, I have thought of nothing else since 1:50 p.m. The worst part is that I had another class and couldn't continue listening or ask these questions of the boys.
Sunday, January 13, 2002
todd, it really hurts me that given our friendship you still feel the need to lie to me about being a robot. it's not that big of a deal. when i come to see you in san francisco i'll "rewire" you if you know what i mean.
and as far as the human torch goes, i happen to like him a lot. SO BACK OFF! HE'S FUNNY!
Sunday, January 13, 2002
You know, Jeff, I think asking you to repeat is pretty low on everyone's list of priorities right now.
Oh, and I'm not a robot. But if I were, I'd wanna be that one really cool one that everyone liked. You know, from the Fantastic Four cartoon. The one they got rid of the Human Torch for.
Friday, January 11, 2002
Hey lainey, I feel your problem with shiny things. They are just so damn attractive to the eye and usually distract me from not walking into large objects. It's a tough road to live, but someone has to keep the sequin business booming.
Sunday, January 6, 2002
if you've got a sweet tooth i think i've got your king size candybar right here! bahahhaha! that is awesome. also, it supports my theory that todd is a robot, because if he weren't a robot...LOOK OVER THERE SHINY STUFF!
bye.
Thursday, January 3, 2002
THIS JUST IN!...
TODD'S A ROBOT!
this concludes the news broadcast..please return to your regularly scheduled internet activities.
Sunday, December 30, 2001
why would you even question that? was there ever any doubt? of course phallic. well, i guess it coulda been an atom and his PACKAGE reference..but let's face it. i'm not that witty.
*makes out with her website*
Saturday, December 29, 2001
Ooooh, a package full of party favors and hats and streamers and candy and lemonade and party cake with white frosting and sprinkles and noisemakers and balloons and birthday cards and soda and potato chips and pillows for pillow fights and little books for autographs and more streamers and wax lips and stuff? A package like that?
Saturday, December 29, 2001
damn jeff, you ain't gotta step on the gas like that. take your time. get to know me first. don't call me. i'll call you...don't count on it though.
in other news, my site is all pretty now. if i could actually make love to a webpage, i'd pick mine. mostly because it's sincere, funny, and good looking, but also cos it's got a huge package.
Saturday, December 29, 2001
Though nothing fun or exciting has really happened to me over this Winter Break, other than my new job as local video whore/movie watcher at a video store, I did receive a cell phone for Christmas. It was not until now that I realized nobody calls me. Why don't people call me? If YOU, however, would like to call me, request my number via e-mail or something. I know at least Adam would love to talk. I swear I have a 50/50 shot at saying something worth while.
Tuesday, December 25, 2001
i'd like to point out that through correctly coaxing adam one can get what one wants. if what one wants is a meet page far surpassing all others, with up to date information and the correct age. sure, my email address is wrong, but who's to say i didn't plan it that way? NOONE THAT'S WHO!
oh, and merry christmas and all that jazz.
Monday, December 24, 2001
lainey is swank: i just emailed adam...
lainey is swank: saying he messed up my meet page
justinblaix: he still has not fixed my meet page. i sent him new info forever ago
lainey is swank: perhaps if one of us posts this on fun he'll do it.
justinblaix: maybe
Monday, December 24, 2001
I have a mint-condition New Kids on the Block sticker. I stole it from an unappreciative friend. Let the bidding wars begin! I also have the complete set of the regular trading cards, and an autographed photograph poster of the band raping American music culture in the ass...oh, I'm kidding of course.
The poster isn't autographed! I wouldn't sell something like that! Hahaha - what a thought!
Monday, December 24, 2001
I'd like to formally announce the addition of two new members to FUN!'s staff.
Lainey "I Hate Hum" Iprobablyhaveasuckylastname once jumped out of a plane using only a mule named "Jim" as her parachute. At an altitude of three feet. She is presently warned to... 31%. By Nick. For no reason.
Mike "I Am British" Gavin uses his profoundly northern British accent to both astound the ladies and confuse the hell out of anyone that attempts aural communication with him. He uses nailpolish on only his toes. He also has only three teeth.
Welcome these people and take them into your home as if they were your true kin. Live them. Love them.
Sunday, December 23, 2001
everyone else is doing it, so i might as well.
since i'm the new kid on the block i figure it's only fittin' that i talk about my petition to get nkotb to do a reunion tour. don't worry, i won't let danny be in it, as he had the lowest t-shirt and poster sales. screw monkey boy!
if you'd like to get in on this petition email me....i think that is all. oh yeah, i agree with mike.
(also, nick made me do this adam. don't beat me.)
Sunday, December 23, 2001
Who wants to know how big a nerd I am?
Last night I had a dream that I was back in a musical I did 6 years ago and I could barely remember any of the songs. Then I got up on stage ready to enter and I discovered that the taps were missing from my tap shoes.
Sunday, December 23, 2001
Two nights ago, I beatmatched Radiohead - Idioteque into iio - Rapture with success. I deserve crucifixion. Who wants to crucify me? Leah, I'm looking in your direction...
So finals are over and I actually finished thermodynamics without the "certain death" I was heralding three months prior. What am I doing with my newfound knowledge of Gibbs free energy and its relation to type II phase diagrams?
I am listening to The New Pornographers.
Everyone sing along - FOR THE LOVE OF GOOOOD YOU SAAAAAAAAY NOT A LETTER FROM AN OOOOOCCUPAAAAAAAAANT(is bludgeoned to death)
Tuesday, December 18, 2001
The votes are in, the letters have been sent. Once we get the info for their meet pages, I'll welcome them properly and let them jam up the actual website, but for now, sneak a peek at the two newestmembers of Team FUN!.
Thursday, April 3, 2003
I have come out of my cave because I have exciting and important news: as soon as December 15, I will be the owner of a new banjo. Of course, I have to thank Jeff for this, as I am buying it on his credit, but that's the way we work things in the Michigan backwoods.
Requests for recorded songs will, of course, be taken at any point.
----- Original Message -----
From: Alan Martin
To:
Sent: Monday, December 10, 2001 2:02 AM
Subject: TEAM FUN #1
May I introduce myself. My name is Steely Al. We have an organisation set
up in Edinburgh in Scotland called 'TEAM FUN'. We are the real 'TEAM FUN'.
If you would like to join the real 'TEAM FUN' please goto this site
www.geocities.com/xxxxxxxxx. You have just copied our idea you bastards.
Do you want to see what happens when you fuck a stranger in the ass? Steely
Al.
________________________________________________________________________
Get your FREE download of MSN Explorer at http://explorer.msn.com/intl.asp
Wednesday, November 28, 2001
It has been my birthday for exactly 15 minutes and I have yet to see anyone wishing ME a happy day! 15 minutes people! I can't wait around this long... I WON'T BE 20 FOREVER!!!
Monday, November 19, 2001
Hi. It's actually sunday the 25th, but I jumped in the time machine back to monday to wish Team FUN!'s own meg peterson a happy happy birthday. yes.
